


Guy Fieri vs Star Trek

by StickleUsedSplash



Series: Guy Fieri vs The World [3]
Category: Dragon Ball, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Wars - All Media Types, Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Awesome, Crossover, Enterprise, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Outer Space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 17:58:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14337975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StickleUsedSplash/pseuds/StickleUsedSplash
Summary: After his exploits on Hoth, Guy Fieri must conquer and defeat the Starship Enterprise! Can he do it!?





	Guy Fieri vs Star Trek

**Author's Note:**

> The smell of success probably doesn't smell as good as what's happening on the Enterprise!

Guy Fieri vs Star Trek

Guy Fieri was beamed on to the transporter deck of the Enterprise. Captain Picard was there to greet him. “Hello!”

Captain Picard shook Guy’s hand. “You look as though you are ready to party.” Captain Picard smiled with a bald head.

“I’m always ready to party,” Guy said as he put on another pair of shades he had in his pocket. “Can I cook? Or should I get a tour of the engine room?”

“All in do time, what was your name?”

“My name is Darth” Guy remembered the plan he was hypnotized to do and in his brain there was enough sense to not reveal his name. The Jedi Mind Trick will force the brain to seize and not reveal the plan of what it is the other person is being forced to do. Kylo Ren is very strong with the force, so even with Guy Fieri being so far away; the Mind Trick will still work due to Ren’s strength, Guy remembered. “My name is Guy Fieri. I’m ecited to be a part of the crew. Can I cook you anything?”

Captain Picard walked with guy through the halls of the Enterprise, “Yes. In fact. We’ll go to Tin Forward right now and you can meet Gynan. She will love to have another chef on board. Then later you can meet Geordi LaForge and he can tell you all about how the ship works. But stay away from Warf, he might pull your arms off,” Picard doubled over with laughter.

“Is he a wookie? Because that’s what wookies do.” Guy Fieri slapped Picard on the back.

“No old chum! He’s a Klingon! They’re much worse!” Picard almost pissed himself and looked down at his trousers.

“I’m still not playing Chest with him!” Guy Fieri fell over backwards.

“I need to! I need to pee!” yelled Picard.

“Can I watch?” asked Guy.

Picard stopped laughing and got a gleam in his eye. “So.” said Picard. “You like to watch. Maybe you’re a little bit like Riker after all.”

Guy nodded his head Yes. “Riker might be a little bit like me.” Guy smiled.

Picard held in a laugh but couldn’t hold in his piss. “Oh no!” Picard looked down at his soaked trousers.

“Let me help you,” insisted Guy then he helped Picard take his trousers off. Picard looked down at Guy and gave him a kiss.

“This doesn’t leave this transit lift, okay?” whispered Picard.

“And neither do you,” Guy said under his breath.

“What was that?” asked Picard.

“I’ll make you feel good,” said Guy.

Picard has his dick deep inside Guy Fieri’s mouth. Guy licked and sucked Picard’s dick with guesto. Picard’s dick started to go limp when it rubbed against Guy’s goatee, “I don’t know if I like the feel of facial hair.”

“It’s okay,” said Guy. He pulled out a finger and popped it in Picard’s ass. “How about that?”

Picard’s dick swolled up twice as big and started throbbing in Guy’s mouth. “Woah! Beverly always mentioned this, but I never wanted to try it. Now I see what I’ve been missing.”

“Relax, Captain, your in good hands...and mouth now,” said Guy as he spit on Picard’s dick.

Guy sucked long and hard, jetting his finger in and out of Picard’s anus. Eventually the lift stopped. The door opened. Dr. Beverly Crusher looked at the scene in front of her.

“I always wanted to try that!” screamed Dr. Crusher. Then she got into the lift.

Guy moved aside and Dr. Crusher went down to her knees. “Jean-Luc, I love your cock Jean-Luc,” and she and Guy traded off sucking on his dick. Dr. Crusher stuck a hand into Picard’s ass. Two fingers moved in and out of his asshole. Picard revealed in delight.

Guy took off Dr. Crusher’s clothes. Dr. Crusher took off Guy’s. Picard took off his shirt. The three of them all shared a passionate three way kiss. Dr. Crusher’s red pubic hair stood on end as water fell from her pussy. Guy and Picard jerked each other as Dr. Crusher played with her clit. The lift stopped again. The door opened. Counselor Deanna Troi and Caommander Riker stood in the doorway holding hands. Riker took one look at the scene in front of him and jumped in the lift. “You coming Diana? Asked Ricker.”

“I sense something is wrong.” Deanna put her hands to her head.

Guy Fieri took off his shades and looked Deanna right into the eyes, “Yeah, you’re not naked yet.”

Deanna got into the lift and took off her clothes, revealing a voluptious body that everyone stopped to admire. Riker immediately came all over himself, “Ah, uh. I’m sorry.” Everyone else came to with surprised looks in their eyes. “What the fuck?” Guy exclaimed. “How?” asked Picard as his dick cream shot into Dr. Crusher’s squirt stream. “Ungh!” screamed Dr. Crusher, her legs and bush covered in woman cum. “Such is the way when you sleep with a Betazoid.” Deanna smiled. “Who wants to cum again?”

The lift stopped. The doors opened. Wesley Crusher looked in. He saw Picard leaned up against his corner, his dick spewing out cum like a fountain. He saw Guy Fieri on his knees, holding his dick as it shot out relentless buckets of cum. He saw the back of Deanna Troi as her own pussy juice dripped down her legs. He saw Commander Riker as he stood at attention, his dick shooting gobs of cum right at a red head. “Mom!?” cried Wesley Crusher at Dr. Crusher.”

“Wesley!” yelled Dr. Crusher, “You’re not supposed to be here!” 

“I had to go to the bathroom!” yelled Wesley. “What’s going on? Why are you like this?” Wesley tried to look everyone in the eyes, but he settled for staring at Counselor Troi’s sexy, creamy, big white ass.

“Wesley. Sometimes when grown-ups like each other…”

“Mom! I’m too big for the sex talk! Why is it happening in a lift?” Wesley walked into the lift; bodies heaving and coming all around him.

“Wesley. I’m” Dr. Crusher let out two tears out of the sides of her eyes.

“It’s okay mom.” Wesley lifted his mom’s chin to him. He kissed her while she was cumming. Dr. Crusher started to rub Wesley’s cock. “Mom?”

“Get your clothes off, boi!” yelled Commander Riker.

“Yes sir!” yelled Wesley Crusher.

Wesley Crusher took off his clothes as his mom grabbed and sucked his cock. Guy Fieri stuck a finger in Wesley Crusher’s ass and screamed, “What the fuck is that?”

Wesley Crusher’s eyes rolled into the back of his head, “I told you I had to go to the bathroom.” he screamed.

“Go.” said Dr. Crusher with her son’s dick in her mouth.

Wesley let out a shit. It was not co he sive. It was wild and untamed; little chunks of pope fell onto the wet floor. “Coffee!” screamed Wesley. The shit smelled of coffee and wild oats. Wsley shit so hard and so fast that he wouldn’t need to wipe after. “That’s my boi!” screamed Dr. Crusher.

Guy wiped his shit covered finger into Dr. Crusher’s hair. Dr. Crusher looked over at Guy with a mad look, then Guy shrugged as if he said, “He’s your boi.” Then Guy came onto Dr. Crusher’s velvety red pussy, then Dr. Crusher squirted into Guy’s face. Then Wesley Crusher couldn’t take it and came in his mom’s face.

The lift stopped. The doors opened. Geordi LaFroge stood in the doorway. He used his visor (because fuck those stupid fucking contacts) to observe the scene; then he got sad. “Dang. Why am I always the last one invited to the party?”

“Come in Geordi,” said Picard as come dribbled out the end of his dick, “there’s always room for one more.”

“Nah. Geordi said as he slumped his shoulders, “I’ve got to deal with the engine.”

“Oh me too!” yelled Guy Fieri (Darth Insipid) as he started putting his clothes on. “I’ll help you.”

“who the fuck is that?” asked Geordi.

“He’s a guest, Geordi,” said Picard with matted cum, some of it his own, adorning his grey pubes, “you will treat him with kindness and respect. Show him the engine room, please.”

“Sure come on.” Geordi said.

“Make it so,” screamed Picard.

Darth Insipid used a mind trick on Picard to make him tell Geordi to see the engine room. “Hi. I’m Guy Fieri. I have a show back on Earth, but I’ve been busy with other things lately.” Guy healed out a hand to Geordi LeForge.

“Geordi shook Guy’s hand, “And I’m Geordi LaFroge; nice to finally meet you.” Gerodi pulled his hand away, the stink of Guy’s hand still remained on Gerodi’s fingers. Geordi ran to a nearby trashbin and vomitted.

“Feeling okay, Geordi?” asked Guy.

“Yeah. Just, sex makes me vomit.” Geordi laughed.

“It makes us all vomit.” Guy Fieri laughed.

“Bleh bleh bleh,” said Geordi as he fell to his knees in laughter.

Guy Fieri pondered what Geordi’s ass would look like without his trousers on. Black and muscular no doubt. “I’d love to read that rainbow,” Guy said as he licked his lips. But his mission was crucial so he couldn’t stop to fuck Geordi. 

“What?” asked Geordi as he got to his feet.

“I’d love to see the engine room,” said Guy Fieri as he smiled through his shades.

“Come on, friend!” Geordi took Guy to the engine room.

“This is the engine room,” said Geordi.

“Wow!” said Guy. He looked at the engine room. Then he struck Geordi in the back of the head. “Ha ha!” Guy set the timer on the self-destruct for the enterprise. Everyone wenrt crazy on the Enterprise but the higher ups were all stuck in the lift and didn’t notice the RED ALART!

Guy laughed as he pulled down Gerodi LaForge’s trousers. “Got to get it in before we all die!” Guy fucked an unconscious Geordi LaForge and came quickly, then immediately felt bad about it. “Damn, I should have waited until he was awake. Then asked for his permission. There’s something about fucking someone that’s unconscious that is just sick. I shouldn’t have done that. It’s not right. I have shamed myself.”

Guy Fieri took a differnt lift to the transport room where Chief O.Brian was. “Hey, how close are we to Deep Space Nine?” he asked O’Brian.

“Oh we can’t transport people there,” said O’Brian.

“Okay I’ll just take a shuttle there then.” said Guy.

“What’s going on? Are we in trouble? Where is the Captain?”

Guy Fieri saw that O’Brien was growin concerned. Guy used The Force to push O’Brien into the wall and knock him unconscious. Guy almost immediately took off O’Brien’s trousers; but he remembered how he felt after what he did to Gerodi. “No!” Guy screamed. Then he left the transport bay and went to the shuttle bay.

Guy flew off in a shuttle as the Enterprise blew up behind him. “Great Work! Kylo Ren said through Force Projection. “You blew up one of the largest ships in the galaxy! A galaxy class starship! Now, you’re going to be in the shuttle for awhile. There should be enough food if you ration it out correctly. I’ll be back to check in on you from time to time.”

Guy shook his head as he set the shuttle to autopilot for the first planet with life on it. There was a rustling in the back. “What is that?” asked Guy Fieri.

Rey Mysterio came popping out of the back. “Hey, amigo!” yelled Rey. “Well, how the?” Guy screamed and smiled.

“Well, I been following you and making sure you were doing what you were supposed to. I was in the top of the lift, spying on you homes! And guess what?”

“What?”

“I found a stole away.” Rey Mysterio gestured to the back and out from the bathroom came a man with wild hair and baggy pants. “Darth Insipid, I’d like you to meet Goku.”

Guy Fieri vs. Dragon Ball Z

Goku turned up the shuttles gravity to over 1,000 times that of Earth’s. “Woah!” Guy said as he calapsed on the floor.

“This is how we do it in my hood!” screamed Goku as he made fists.

Rey Mysterio floated about. “Oh delay!”

Guy Fieri used his burgeoning muscles to climb to his feet. “Woah!” he screamed as he felt the surge of adreanaline course through his veins like a spider monkey through the trees. “I am getting strongert!” screamed Guy Fieri with muscles and veins.

“This is the way to do eet!” screamed Rey Mysterio as he bounced around on the top.

“How about some lunch?” asked Goku as he went to the replicator and told it to make sensu beans, “These sensu beans will help with your training, okay!? Eat them!” screamed Goku.

“Y-yes sensai,” screamed Guy Fieri from the floor this time. He got up and strained to walk to the sensu beans to eat them. “Mmm good! I have an idea!”

Guy Fieri made food at the replicator as Goku and Rey Mysterio trained and watched.

“Okay ready!” screamed Guy Fieri.

Goku ate it. Rey Mysterio ate it. “What is it?” they asked.

“Well the sensu beans were so good that I mashed a bunch of them together and made a burger with them, complete with arugala and aoli for the toppings. There is a bit of garlic so watch out!”

Rey Mysterio let out a single tear from his mask. “Eet reminds me of mi amigos en la casa.” He cried and ate his sensu bean burger.

“Woah!” Goku said as he ate his burger in one bite. “Are you ready to face Frieza on Namek?” asked Goku.

“Ready!” screamed Guy Fieri.

No!” Goku slapped the shit out of Guy Fieri. “You have to train! I’ve fought Frieza before; even Gold Frieza and let me tell you, he is HARD! So you have to be ready for anything!”

“A-anything?” Guy asked as he hold his face, his other hand caressing the shit that just left his ass.

“Anything!” screamed Goku, as he went just a little super saiyan. 

“Is that why you made me shit?” asked Guy as he pulled down his trousers.

Goku looked at the mess Guy Fieri had made in his pants. “Gross” said Rey Mysterio from the cieling. Then Rey Mysterio shit in his pants too. “O M G! Holms!”

The shit dripped from the cieling to the floor. “From the windows to the wall!” smiled Goku as he covered his nose. “You guys stink!”

“How do we stop this!?” yelled Guy Fieri as his asshole spit liquid fathoms of green, watery shit all over the shuttle. Rey Mysterio slipped and fell in to Guy’s shit. “Yuck mang!”

“Train!” yelled Goku as he hightened the gravity.

“But Guy made Burgers and gave us all food poisoning!” Rey Mysterio screamed while covered in the castercading shitfall of Guy Fieri’s super poop.

“I’m sorry,” Guy cried and his tears fell in to his poop, “I’m so sorry.”

“We’re here!” screamed Goku. “Now we have to face Frieza here on Namek. He is the strongest opponent I’ve faced so far. So what are you going to do about it, Guy? Huh? How about you Rey? You didn’t even train. How do you expect to bert the leader of the Ginyu Force? Huh? How? You can’t even go Super Saiyan. So? When will you stop letting pieces of shit like yourself in the way of things that are good? When will you see the posittives on life and not focus on all the bad shit that’s been done to you? When will you become the people that you know you are instead of being the person that other people tell you you are? That day is today! And we will stand and we will fight! And I need to know if I can trust you in a fight! I need to know that I won’t have to babysit you in a fight! I need to know if I don’t have to watch out for you in a fight! I need to know that I won’t have to look over my shoulder and see that you need help in a fight! I need to know that IF WE FIGHT I WILL NOT HAVE TO CHECK ON YOU TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE OK! I need to have the rest insurance! So are you with me!? Or are you against me!? Do we have each other’s backs out there!? Can we relay on each other to do the right thing and look out for each other!? What do you say, guys?”

“Yes!” screamed Guy Fieri as a single tear fell from his cheek.

“Oh delay!” screamed Rey Mysterio after a shower.

Guy Fieri transformed into Meguytron. “What are you doing, Guy Fieri?” screamed Goku as a question.

“Doing what I came here to do.” Meguytron formed into a ball, a ball that was very similar to the Death Star.

“No!” screamed Goku.

Deathstaur Meguytron shot a beam of light into Namek.

Back on the shuttle, Guy Fieri who was now demorphed shot a look into Goku. The look said, “I did it because I had to. Not because I wanted to. Please forgive me.” Goku new exactly what that look meant. He cried himself to sleep.


End file.
